


Never Gonna Leave This Bed

by youmakemyheartgosuperwhee



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Drabble, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 08:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5284175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youmakemyheartgosuperwhee/pseuds/youmakemyheartgosuperwhee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is basically therapy for me (as this is reflecting on my own struggles and experiences with anxiety), but I  decided to post it nevertheless in case anyone finds to read such things therapeutic. I don't know.</p><p>I hope you enjoy! xo</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Gonna Leave This Bed

It was moments past midday when Blaine walked back into a perfectly silent loft. Putting down the grocery bags as gently as he could, he walked towards the room he and Kurt slept in.  
He stopped in his tracks in the doorway, leaning on the frames lightly. 

"Kurt." He called from the door with a soft voice, checking if the man was awake yet. 

He took his shoes off and tossed his jacket aside, tip-toeing into the bedroom.

"Kurt?" Blaine repeated with the same soft tone, sitting down on the bed.

An incoherent mumble escaped his lips as he turned around ever so slightly in order to see Blaine’s face.  
"I'm never gonna leave this bed." Kurt’s face was visibly tear stained and eyes exhausted and absent, and though he knew to expect that, it still hurt.

Blaine knew a little too well that there was nothing he could do about Kurt's anxiety. He knew it was something Kurt himself nor him could control. He knew there were methods, including hot showers and breathing exercises and massages and eating sugar and actual exercising and whatnot to help coping with it, but none of those things ever made the feeling of crippling fear and miserability exit Kurt's body and mind completely.  
Kurt still made it through things constantly that Blaine just knew so many other people with same issues didn't and that was one among a thousand other reasons why he admired Kurt so much.  
Some days though, despite all of his will and attempts, he wasn't as capable of managing so well. Some days he became completely paralyzed by the unwanted feelings and emotions as well as the physical conditions that came with. Blaine knew those days, and those days he was exceptionally angry about the fact that someone as amazing as his fiancé had to struggle with such a deeply affecting hypersensitivity as an anxiety disorder. He was absolutely furious at the universe, and though he was there for Kurt without exception, just knowing that whether or not Kurt felt drained and futile without one, clear reason was out of his control hurt. It really did.

The shorter man slowly lifted both of his legs on the bed and fiddled himself closer to his fiancé, not taking his eyes off of his. 

“You okay?” Blaine whispered, sweeping Kurt’s hair away from his face. His golden honey colored eyes were soft but worried, and though he could clearly see that Kurt was not okay and didn't want to talk about it, he needed to get him to talk to him. 

As he expected, after a couple of silent moments Kurt shook his head, sighing audibly. He ducked his head, looking down at the pillows and blankets he was laying in the middle of. When he looked up again, his eyes were filled with tears. 

“God, I’m so sorry Blaine. I know we had plans and-“ He laughed dryly at his articulation problems, but didn’t get the opportunity to bring himself down any more than he already had when Blaine cut him off.

He put both of his arms around Kurt, making him sit up. “Come on now.” He stacked several pillows behind Kurt’s back and cupped his face with both of his hands. Wiping away the tears that had freshly ran down his face, Blaine smiled softly. “We had no plans, Kurt.” 

Kurt looked a bit puzzled, raising his brows in a way that was barely noticeable. 

“Kurt, getting groceries doesn’t count as plans.” Blaine laughed, hugging him even tighter, but gently. He ran his hands up and down his back several times, trying his very best to stop him from shaking. “And you hate buying groceries anyway.”  
“The last time Rachel told you to go get her vegan chocolate bars on the way to the grocery store, you told her you’d stab her eye with a fork if she ever asked you again.” Blaine chuckled a little at the memory of the happening.

“I did?” Kurt asked, leaning back to see Blaine’s facial expression. He nodded, and the smallest hint of a smile appeared on Kurt’s face.  
“You also said that you hoped they had recyclable forks at the store that you could commit the said act of violence with. Rachel got really offended and muttered that she could get the chocolate herself on her way to the theater.” 

As Blaine hoped, Kurt laughed, burying his face back in the crook of Blaine’s neck. “Oh my god." He muttered, shaking his head a little against Blaine’s shoulder. 

Blaine ran his fingers through Kurt's messy, after-sleep hair. "In conclusion, I don't quite understand what you were apologizing to me for. No reason for you to do that. Everything's fine."

Kurt tilted his head a little in order to lazily kiss Blaine's neck. He breathed in deep and lifted himself up from where he was being supported by Blaine's chest. He looked him in the eyes, smiling, thanking him silently. 

"I love you." Blaine said simply, looking him right back in the eyes, warm and soft and loving.

Kurt nodded, as if it was the clearest, most obvious yet the most unbelievable thing in the world. "I love you more." 

Kurt leaned in enough to rest his forehead against Blaine's, then kissing him soft and sweet.


End file.
